Friday, October 23, 2009

Back home

As things didn't work out as planned, I have migrated back to my beloved home and country, Malaysia, in the hopes that it will bring some comfort in the depths of my despair. I still feel pretty sore about failing my O&G supplementary exam and I carry this wound with me's a constant reminder of why I did not graduate with the rest by the end of this year and telling me that life can be very harsh and unpredictable. Still I am determined to give it one last try before I call it quits so I am going to spend the next 4 months back in KL religiously studying O&G especially those topics I have trouble with and try to gain as much clinical exposure as possible. Also when I get back to Sydney, I will have to redo my O&G term which will be conducted by my supervisor which will hopefully provide me with more background clinical skills knowledge. By then I pray, SINCERELY PRAY AND HOPE that I will be ready to sit for the O&G OSCE and VIVA and finally pass. However, the last incident has taught me that one can never be too sure about passing and even though you think that you have prepared well, the examiner can still fail simply because he holds the power to. It could just be a simple slip of the tongue, your mind freezes up on that day which leaves you unable to recall anything that you've studied, your mannerism that may be irratating to the examiner or basically being very unlucky call lead to impending FAILURE. Anything can happen on that day and its so ricdiculous for the faculty of medicine to pass a student on the basis of just ONE MISERABLE VIVA AND CLINICAL STATION. Does this mean you have profound knowledge and grasp of O&G if you are able to pass just that station which just tests you on a tiny fraction of O&G? Furthermore, you may be extremely lucky and need not even demonstrate your clinical skills though its an OSCE station as it could simply just be a history or counselling station which saves those people (like me) who are clearly lacking and deficient in clinical skills.

At least for now, the tension of the upcoming exam is a lot less since I am back home and the exam is only next year. But this time I am going to prepare myself for failure so that if I do fail once again, I won't feel the torrent of painful emotions that washes over me filled with hurt, disappointment and self-hatred. This year has more or less been an emotional roller coaster ride; filled with many ups and downs, truimphs and tribulations. Altogether, 2009 has not been a lucky year for me in terms of academics, well being and health.

Besides that, I am currently enjoying the comforts of being back home. For now, its a luxury to wake up anytime I want and not procastinate over the daily errands. I also get to try the various food that I have sorely missed as they were unavailable in Sydney and the best part is its a whole lot cheaper and the owners are less fussy and particular especially when the customer requests for extra soup, sauce etc. So far, I've tried some Ipoh hor fun soup from TK Chong and I absolutely love the delicious, enriching, shrimpy stock with bouncy mouth-watering prawn dumplings, steamed chicken also from Thong Kee with its flavourful, smooth and tender meat, springy siew mai filled with succulent lean meat that happens to rival the ones back in Sydney located just opposite my house and tapioca kuih which has been a childhood favourite of mine. And for dinner we had tiny deep fried pomfret fish which you pop into your mouth, hear it go crunch and savour the crispiness and natural taste of fish with bones that are completely edible. No doubt, this should be packed with calcium.

Apart from the good food, mum and I did some window shopping at 1 utama and the curve. These two shopping malls that are located within walking distance from my house brings back a truckload of memories since my high school days. As I was strolling around, I caught glimpse of cafes, restaurants, clothing stores that I often visited after school ended or during the weekends. Of course, there have been some changes but some things remain the same, the malls are still packed with busy and bustling customers, the cinemas are brimming with never-ending queues and there are still clans of school uniformed children bombarding Mcdonalds, Burger King and KFC. I did some grocery shopping at Jusco supermarket and Cold Storage and stacked up my cart with food items are a lot cheaper as compared to the ones in Sydney as well as being welcomed by food advertisers offering free tasting/sampling of their products. All in all, things have hardly changed and that's the way I like it as nothing beats coming back home to be awakened by long lost memories and childhood experiences that touches your soul and brings back a bittersweet nostalgia.

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