Saturday, August 15, 2009

Pre-exam woes= Physical and emotional turmoil

The title says it all. Right now I have less than 6 weeks left till my dreaded FINALS. Apart from feeling overwhelmed by the vast amount of studying that still needs to be done, I haven't exactly been in top form lately. I've recently come down again with a 'stomach bug' which seemed to have phantom-ly crept up on me unexpectedly. I have no absolutely no idea what its due to as it lasted a bit too long for the diagnosis of 'gastroenteritis' to be established and it could very well be due to stress related gastritis or even irratable bowel syndrome. Its better now at least but I still occasionally throw up after eating certain foods that seem to trigger off the nausea. I hope it goes off soon otherwise I will have to consider seeking medical advice and treatment and not presumably basing it upon my own differential diagnosis and assumptions.

Apart from being physically unwell, I've been a bit low in spirits. The majority of it is probably stemming from exam stress but I find myself more irratable these days and easily lash out at the slightest mistakes not to mention being more prone to fleeting episodes of 'sorrowfulness'. It takes a lot of determination and motivation everyday to sit down and study for endless hours, trying your absolute hardest to digest everything you read and making sure you don't forget the vital aspects of it. And it gets even more fustrating when you can't seem to recall much of the information that you had previously studied a few weeks earlier which immediately drives my mind into 'PANIC MODE'. I admit that I am definitely hovering a very pessimistic attitude towards my exam and reminding myself everyday that it will be a 'MIRACLE' if i can pass my end of year exam which is the final ticket to becoming a doctor. I wish that I had more inner strength and faith in myself instead of harbouring irrational thoughts and emotions when I haven't even sat for the exam yet.

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